Crock Pot Roast

I am horrible at writing recipes. I’m true free spirit in the kitchen and hate to be bound by measurement and instruction. This recipe will be more conversational.

7-9# Roast- can be chuck, round, sirloin… The only thing I would say no to put in a crock pot would be a rib roast, which is better suited for a dry cooking method.

Stab the chunk of meat a bunch of times to make slits in the flesh. Insert slivers of a garlic into slits. Season very liberally with salt/pepper/garlic powder.

In a heavy bottomed pan (like cast iron!!) heated with a nice layer of grape seed oil or bacon fat or ghee (the shit should smoking!) brown the roast on all sides. You will need to stay near the pan and turn once a nice crispy crust has formed. Once that is done, place roast into crock pot.

With the hot pan on medium heat, add large dice of an onion, a leek, 2 celery, 2 carrot and 2 tomatoes. Stir constantly, scraping up all the good bits on the bottom of pan.

Turn heat on high. Deglaze pan with a 1/2 bottle of red wine or 12oz of a good stout beer. Scrap up the bottom pan for all the tasty bits. Once boiling, dump into the crock pot.

Add these final ingredients:

2 bay leaf
2 teaspoon peppercorn
1 whole head of garlic, peel and all
1 bunch parsley with stems
3 sprigs of thyme

Add enough water to cover a little more than half way up the roast. Cover and set crock pot to “Long Cook” or 10 hours or “Low” what ever the longest setting is on your dial is. Do not set to “High.”

Come home from work/crossfit, take the roast out of the crock pot- let it be sexy for a minute.

Strain the cooking liquid, discarding everything, EVEN THE VEGGIES.

Bring cooking liquid to a boil and let simmer on med-low while you roast fresh veggies in the oven. The sauce should thicken slightly, making it an aus jus. 


Stuff the hungry hole in the middle of the thing you call your face.